My son is here! Birth story (long)

My son was born on Thursday, January 19th at 117pm weighing 7 pounds and 11 ounces.  He's healthy and we are so in love.

On Jan 19th at 8am we went in for an induction at 40w6d. When I arrived, I was almost completely effaced, 4cm dilated, and still -3 station.  I totally thought I'd get a bit of pitocin, contractions would start, and less than 24 hours of labor and some pushing, my baby would be here.  I was wrong.  I knew there would be a chance that a c section would happen, my OB did say that was a downside of induction and I proceeded anyway, and I don't regret that one bit.

At 9am, we finally got settled into a room and they started my admitting paperwork, did my initial exam, and I met my nurses, OB on staff to deliver me, and midwife. They hooked me up to monitor me for a bit.  At about 10am, 2 nurses and the midwife came in sternly but kindly telling me to get on my side. I did so immediately and asked what happened and they said this is very normal for baby's HR to decel and that I needed to relax a bit.  I was taken aback by that bc I didn't realize baby's HR had gone down.  I immediately started crying and they said it is normal and happens all the time, not to worry.  DH finally got keyed in that something was going on and came over to me.  He told me later he thought I had taken a dump on myself bc of what the nurses were saying since he missed the initial part of the drama.  Thanks H.

They decided to hold off on giving me pitocin so they could monitor the baby more.  I am not sure but I think they may have given me something in my IV at this point to calm me down since I was crying so hard and was so nervous.

At about 1030 the nurse came and said we would start the pitocin, lowest dose of 2 (out of max 20).  At 1115am she came in and increased it to 4. I wasn't feeling or having any contractions from the first dosage.  A few minutes later my nurse rushed in along with the midwife and 2 other nurses, saying they needed to turn the pitocin off, baby wasn't tolerating it very well.  I look over at the monitor and all I remember was 68.  And I know that wasn't my HR I was reading.  Lots of things were a blur by this point but I asked if baby was ok and they said yes this happens but baby's HR had deceled a lot and was taking a while to come back up, hence turning off pitocin.  I know more people came in at this point and I swear it was like a horrible movie where I look around and there are 10 or so people in my room around my bed.

I remember a dr or a midwife saying that it wouldn't hurt, that they were breaking my water to see if there was any dark liquid in there. I remember getting stuck with needles, one of which was tetrabuline (no clue how it's spelled), they said to calm my uterus. People were telling me to calm down, I was asking for my H and I could see him past the nurses/drs and the look in his eyes kind of terrified me bc he looked scared too and he's never scared.  I was crying my fuckingeyes out at this point and my body was trembling like crazy. Nasty horrible things were going through my head about what might possibly be happening to my baby.  God, my heart just rips to shreds remembering this scene. No wonder I didn't want to write it all down.
Finally my H was next to me and he was holding my hand saying it would be ok, and the dr was next to my bed and I said "are we going to do a c-section? is my baby going to be ok? Please hurry and do whatever you need to do.  What's going on?"  And she said that although decels in baby's HR happen and can be common, this was the second time in a short time span that it happened, and it was taking a long time to come back.  That they didn't know why it was happening. And that she believes a c section would be the safest thing to do as soon as possible.  I don't even remember if I was given a choice to continue with labor to see if we could do a vaginal delivery.  Even if I was that option, I know 100% I wouldn't have taken it. I wanted my baby out asap bc I wanted to know he/she was safe.

I have no idea how long that all lasted but the next thing I know, I'm being wheeled away, nurses are handing me things to sign, I hear ppl ordering the anesthesiologist.  I asked if I would be awake for the c/s and someone said "I hope so."  I remember being heartbroken at the thought of not being awake when my baby entered this world.

We got to the operating room and again it was all a blur. I just wanted my husband there but he couldn't come in until the sheet was up and I was prepped. They gave me a spinal, which didn't hurt really bc I was given a numbing shot beforehand, which did sting by the way.  The spinal I could feel every bit of, no pain, just pressure.  Not fun. The whole time I'm being prepped I'm watching the screens for my baby's HR - I felt good that I kept seeing it fluctuate from about 118 to 140.  I still kept asking the nurse next to me if everything was ok.

Finally my H came in and sat next to me and I swear I felt so much better. I don't know how people do this alone. I was so terrified something would happen to my baby. Not as important to me was that something would happen to me, as I didn't really think my induction would end this way.  I have no clue what me and H were talking about, I think he was asking me if I felt anything, and I didn't.  Just pressure on my body.  It was weird hearing the doctors talking and I swear I heard something about "move that kidney" which kind of grossed me out.  They did communicate to me every now and then that they were almost done.

Next thing I knew, I heard the dr say "It's a BOY!  You have a BOY!" And I heard my son cry his first cry.  So loud, so healthy, the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard in my life and my tears felt like a damn waterfall.  I will never be able to describe how I felt to hear that sound.  I looked over at my H and asked him if he was healthy, to go look.  And he said "oh my God we have a boy."  H went to go to him and he was gone for a bit and the first thing he said when he came back was "he looks like your dad!"  Which is so true.
I finally met my son a few minutes later, couldn't believe it.  I could hardly see him through my tears and wished so bad I could hold him but I couldn't just yet. H was holding him and I don't remember what happened next but they took him for his exam and were finishing me up.

We finally went to recovery where I stayed for about 2 hours, as I was bleeding more than normal.  Apparently I was losing so much blood that I was going to have a transfusion but I asked if we could wait on that unless it was absolutely necessary.   I was passing a lot of clots and the bleeding wasn't stopping.  I kept vomiting and was lightheaded and majorly sweating. And I never sweat. My H and my son were doing skin to skin in the chair next to my bed in recovery.  Poor H, he kept on asking if I was going to be ok and why I was sweating so bad.  I had like 4 IVs running through me, which was really weird.  Time passed and I guess things settled down bc we eventually made it to our room where we spent the next 2 nights.

Things have been busy at home, trying to get settled in. I love my son more than I thought I even could.  Watching my H with him has made me fall in love with him all over again, as cliche as that sounds it really is true.

So, my delivery didn't go as planned, and I'd really like to forget most of the details about it besides the ending, which is all that really matters anyway.